hey tumblr. sorry if this is a long post, but i just really need to get some thoughts out and i’m not sure who to talk to at this point about certain things.
here’s some background. i was just hired on for a full-time position at a place i absolutely love working. i’m in the sustainability office on a college campus developing programs, working with students, etc. and i truly am grateful for my privilege. i’m also in the process of applying to grad school for the fall to study an incredibly unique and awesome degree program (which includes free courses because i’m university staff).
however, even though all of that is wonderful, i’ve still been feeling a bit amiss lately. it’s never been my plan to stay in raleigh this long. while i love the city, i think i’m just ready for something else. i don’t see myself staying here in the long run. when i think of “home” for me, i automatically think of somewhere oversees, specifically england (more specifically london). it might sound cliche, the american wanting to live abroad, but i really do. it seems right to me for so many reasons.
i keep telling myself that i’ll just stay here and work for a few years (hell, i’m only 22) to save up some money and gain more experience. then i can move and do what my heart desires (ha). even so, i still feel extremely restless, like i’m stuck. i have absolutely no idea how to shake this unpleasant feeling that just continually reverberates throughout my entire body.
anyway, i bring this all up because, out of sheer chance, i discovered an opening for a sustainability manager position at a university in london. i spent the entire day contemplating whether i should apply and decided to fill out the application a few hours ago. the position sounds perfect (sustainability, university, LONDON, high salary, benefits), but my current employer would need to be available as a reference. obviously i may not even reach the reference stage of the process, but how am i supposed to tell my boss that i’m already applying to another job, especially an oversees one? am i mad to even apply? i have no idea…
also, as if that’s not enough, i could also technically join the peace corps next year. my application is in process and i could leave for service as early as january 2013 (they want to send me to central or south america). so there’s always that.
okay, i guess that’s enough of my not-even-quarter life crisis. i’ve also been having an existential crisis lately, which i’m sure isn’t helping matters at all. ugh.